Honeymoon Sandwich

Just lettuce alone

AAAAAAOOOOUUWWOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Peace, Wolfie


                                                                                               
Butch contributes another gem {g}
With this comment:
Here's a recipe I found that I thought was pretty cute...

MOM'S BROWNIES

 Remove teddy bear from oven and preheat oven to 375.
Melt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
Remove teddy bear from oven and tell Jr. "no, no."
Add margarine to 2 cups sugar.
Take shortening can away from Jr. and clean cupboards.
Measure 1/3 cup cocoa.
Take shortening can away from Jr. again and bathe cat.
Apply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
Assemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
Take smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
Take telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.
Call operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
Measure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
Let cat out of refrigerator.
Pour mixture into well-greased 9x13-inch pan.
Bake 25 minutes.
Rescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
Explain to kids that you have no idea if shaved cats will sunburn.
Throw cat outside while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

FROSTING

 Mix the following in saucepan:
1 cup sugar
1 oz unsweetened chocolate
1/4 cup margarine
Take the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.
Answer the door and meekly explain to nice policeman that you didn't know Jr. had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
Put Jr. in playpen.
Add 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
Answer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy having stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot.
Promise to pay for ruined carpet. Tie Billy to clothesline.
Remove burned brownies from oven.

                                                                                               
Here's another one...from Butch

Fruitcake Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon whiskey

Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another tup.
Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?
Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven.
Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway?

Seemingly out of the blue, Jim says:
With nearly any animal, what they eat flavors the meat.
Country squirrels have a much "cleaner" diet than city squirrels. [..]

Blake responds really quickly:
Seems like you should include also a "Country Fried Squirrel" recipe,
and that the scrambled eggs would be better with frog's legs, which really kick up when frying.
Or is that too serious?

One of my uncles used to have a route where he collected salamander's eggs to sell to bio labs.
He was the one who used to bring home squirrels.
He said they cried real tears.
His wife cooked them in brown gravy.
Not too bad, really.
Sometimes he would bring home a gunny sack of bullfrogs, and she would cook frogs legs.
They lived way way, way out in the country at a fish hatchery.
Blake

Vickie replies:
Heh...prolly too serious Blake, 'cause it almost makes sense. I remember watching them 'kick' in the skillet as Gran fried them. I used to ride in the boat when Gramps went frog giggin'. Mmmm....frog's legs.
Vickie
Then quick as a flash Vickie adds...:

Guess this must be where I post my squirrel recipe...

Squirrel and Scrambled Eggs

1 or 2 frisky squirrels
6 eggs
Salt and pepper to taste
1 large frying pan with lid

Crack eggs into frying pan, put squirrels in the pan.
Cover frying pan, firmly attach lid.
Cook over medium heat, squirrels will scramble the eggs.
When all is quiet inside the frying pan, open lid and enjoy.
[running as hard as I can]
Vickie